1.)        Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable. - Voltaire

Waiting for the fat envelopes to come is a form of madness.  Fat envelopes – with words like ‘On behalf of our entire faculty and staff, I am pleased to inform you…’, ‘Congratulations’ and ‘take time to ‘Celebrate’, as opposed to the little skinny window envelopes – with words like ‘we’re sorry to have to tell you this’, ‘not everyone’, and ‘we’ve had more applications this year than there are words in Webster’s Dictionary’… you get the picture.   This is the year that daughter #2 (D#2) graduates from high school and heads off to college.  Oh happy day, save for the minor inconvenience of tuition costs (more about that later), Mom and Dad have finally reached that well-deserved and coveted stage of life; empty nesters!   

But wait, there is this little thing called the college application process (CAP).  The CAP began 18 months ago with the beginning of the happy college visits.  School after school, town after town, all pre-vetted for academic excellence.  Unfortunately at the beginning of this process, those of you who have college aged children realize that more hinges on the quality of the tour guide, the schools colors and what the name looks like on a sweatshirt than much of anything else. 

The CAP then migrates into worrying about the junior/senior year class load; whether or not you have enough AP or honors courses; and of the dreaded SAT exams.  The angst of the latter can be smoothed out a little by taking the SAT prep course.  The stress of the former however, is designed specifically to punish D#2’s father and give him gray hairs.   

The next phase, having selected the schools that pass all the strictest criteria such as town, sweatshirt, food, dorms, tour guides, what the other students look like walking around campus, and occasionally, to indulge her father, the institutional academics; is to submit the college application.  That is an amazingly complex process in and of itself.  But wait; there is the essay, the recommendation letters, and the decision of whether or not to apply early decision.  ED NOTE: For those of you who have not yet gloried in the CAP process, I highly recommend pushing your child, with all the credibility that you have left with your rising college student, to accept the early decision process.  Our dear D#1 did this, was accepted by her 1^st choice back in that December a few years ago; the rest of the applications were withdrawn and everyone had a college sweatshirt, auto window sticker and I, my logoed golf cap, under the tree by Christmas. 

2.)        Science has not yet taught us if madness is or is not the sublimity of the intelligence. - Edgar Allan Poe

 Poe’s definition of madness came to mind after spending more than we had originally planned to spend on college, on college prep schools pushing, year after year, to make the grades that would be good enough to get D#2 into med school.  And then, she has an epiphany and decides, instead, to become an ‘actress’!  Since our daughters were old enough to speak, her mother and I have told them that they could be anything they wanted to when they grew up; to follow their passions and to never look back.  With D#2, the plan was right on track, and up until maybe five years ago, she was almost assuredly going to be a scientist or doctor.  I was already planning my early retirement because she could then take care of Mom and Dad in their old age.  Despite her mother and father’s limited intelligence, D#2 is really a brilliant kid.  But D#2 had a religious conversion three years ago, when she got a semi-lead in a high school musical, almost by accident, after the original actor had to drop out.  And the rest as they say is history.  In the past three years, D#2 has been in probably a dozen productions and, in many of them had the lead.  She is so in love with the theater that she has written and is directing a play that is being staged at the end of this month; and I have to admit, D #2 is really a good actor.  She’s passionate, dedicated and curious about the craft. 

Back to the application process; when, at a recent audition for college (yes, I said audition – it isn’t enough to have the grades, the boards, the essays and recommendations to get into a BFA Acting program; as an ‘actor’ you also have to audition in order to earn your fat envelope) a father asked “how will you help our children get placed after college?”  The admissions director for this prominent northeastern university thought for a moment, crossed his arms and replied, “I am not sure you understand sir, (long pause) this may be the only college major where we train your child to be professionally unemployed” in other words, preparing your student to be a waitress at Denny’s.  I think that is the kind of madness that Poe was referring to.   

3.)        Madness is rare in individuals - but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule. - Freidrich Nietzsche

I am pretty sure college is not worth the money that they charge now days.  But I am absolutely certain that we, as a society, would probably not have allowed the cost of tuition to rise as it has, if it were not for peer pressure and cultural expectations.   

4.)        The great proof of madness is the disproportion of one's designs to one's means. - Napoleon Bonaparte

There is nothing that prepared D#2’s mom and I, for the cost of college. When my girls were born, our insurance man said, if your child was to go to an Ivy school, it will cost X; and state schools would be ½ X, or less.  Certain that it would be unlikely that a child of mine would actually grace the ivy covered halls of the ‘league’ we saved ½ X.  But unfortunately, we spent more than that on prep school.  What’s wrong with this picture?  Today, most state colleges actually cost more than our financial genius advisor projected the Ivy League schools to be.  College tuition costs have actually out performed inflation for the past 20 years by a ratio of 2:1. This is surely the madness that Napoleon was speaking of. 

We live vicariously through our beautiful children in hopes to give them a little edge over what we had when we were their age, so we press on.  After all, what are parents for?

 5.)        There is no great genius without a mixture of madness.  - Aristotle

Oh, and here is the madness of the fine print for BFA actors.  One would think (I know I was a little guilty) that a ‘mere’ acting major would be a step or two above ‘basket weaving’ for the admissions process; that you only need to be able to spell your name to get into an acting program…not so fast, no, no, no.  Get this; the likes of the top private universities in the northeast accept about 30-35% of their applicants; state schools 45-60% acceptance rates; and Princeton, just down the road, along with the rest of the Ivy’s accept about 10% of their applicants.  Are you ready?  The good BFA acting programs at the same universities admit only 2% of their applicants...talk about stress at our house…argh!!!  She could have more easily gotten into medical school.  

6.)        No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness. - Aristotle

So because these acting programs audition all their applicants in venues all around the good old USA, the schools don’t send out their letters until the end of March, beginning of April.  The period between auditions in January and delivery of the letters in April, seems to age student and parent 10 years.   But alas, the letters have come; some fat…some skinny.  D#2 is thrilled with her choice and the ‘acceptance’ has been made.  My daughter and her mother are happy.  I’m happy (and broke).   

And all is right with the world!